Fear – I know it well. It has been a part of my life since… well, since I can remember! Sometimes it has served me and other times not. So what’s it got to do with anything?
For the most part, I have come to discover that it really doesn’t have to do with much at all when you ultimately realize what it is. Fear is our mind creating stories, situations, and scenarios that hold us back. Now, don’t get me wrong, there is real fear – like if someone is chasing you down a dark alley, that’s real and is truly frightening. But let’s say that you wanted to leave your job but stayed because you were fearful that you might not get another one or that you wanted to lose weight but were fearful that your loved ones wouldn’t support you. See, fear – as we humans have come accustomed to feeling it — really is just a stumbling block to being what you want, having what you want and doing what you want. Fear is an excuse.
Did I get your attention? I hope so, because I really want you to stand up and say “I will not allow fear to rule my life and keep me in limbo.” I was in limbo for many years. Although I still feel fear when I’m about to do something new – like when I left my secure, well-paying job (that I hated by the way) and embarked on a new career — now I ask myself, “So what’s fear got to do with this anyway?” The answer is always because I made up some story about what may happen and what I might be leaving behind. I focus on how lousy I believe my experience is going to be without knowing for a fact how it will turn out. So no wonder I get fearful!
How many times do you do that? I know I was doing it way too much – even down to trying a new restaurant because I was afraid it would not be good. Then I realized my fear was just a story I made up in my head; so I changed the story and tried the new restaurant… and I love it! It showed me that by having a positive approach and outlook, I give myself the opportunity to have a wonderful and successful experience. So no longer am I stuck doing the same things, feeling the same ways and being miserable. The gift is that I experience so much joy on a daily basis, I have fun all the time, and I have fantastic adventures that I wouldn’t have had if I stayed in my fear zone!
I’m here to tell you that fear has NOTHING to do with it – you do! As Eleanor Roosevelt said: “You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do.” Again, I can tell you that this statement is so very true! And once you do it, you will be so amazed at the results – sometimes you even get something you never imagined.
How will you go out and get what you want now that you know that fear doesn’t have to control you? What is one fear you will face in the next week to move you forward? Share your fears and how you’ll change those ‘stories’ on my blog; I’d love to hear them!
About the Author
Kim Ravida, owner and founder of Kim Ravida Coaching, is a Certified Professional Coach and a personal and professional motivation mentor. Kim motivates people to stop beating themselves up and helps them get off their butts so that they maximize their time and energy to quickly get what they want in their lives… and love their reflection! Kim produces a weekly ezine where she shares insights, inspirations, tips and ideas for setting and reaching personal and professional goals. To get more information or sign up, please go to www.kimravida.com.